🧠  The Psychology Behind Why We Ignore AI

Welcome to our latest newsletter.

This month, we look at:

  • Why people tune out when AI starts talking — and how to keep them listening.

  • How the way you present review stars can completely shift perception.

  • Why customers still follow your lead, even when there’s no clear benefit.

  • And how sharing your struggles can connect more than polished perfection.

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Why Your Customers Still Obey—Even When It Doesn’t Pay

New research based on a 14,000-person experiment reveals that people often follow rules—even when there’s no benefit, no consequence, and no one’s watching (phys.org). The driving forces? Not fear of punishment, but:

  • Intrinsic respect for rules—people believe rules are meaningful

  • Social expectations—they think others expect them to comply

For brands and experience designers, that insight flips assumptions. Audiences don’t just react to incentives or benefits—they often follow paths out of internal or perceived external norms.

That means rules, prompts and structures in journeys—like form formats, terms-and-conditions, password requirements—aren’t just friction: they can cue compliance, even loyalty.

But overdo them, and you strip away autonomy. Smart experience design uses just enough structure to guide good behaviour—without undermining trust.

Practical Business Takeouts:

Use predictable micro-rules to guide actions
Simple text prompts like “Please review before submitting” can nudge follow-through—even if no reward hinges on it.
Frame rules as shared values
Position guidelines as “community norms” (e.g. “Here’s how we treat feedback”) so audiences feel internal and social obligation.
Don’t assume rule friction is bad friction
Some prompts help accountability: e.g. password requirements or submit confirmations are followed even without active benefit.
Balance structure and autonomy
Too many steps feel punitive. Keep prompts short and designed to frame “helpful rules” rather than hurdles.
Use social expectation cues sparingly
Phrases like “Most users choose this…” or “Our members agree…” tap into perceived social validation—boosting participation.

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Photo: Eric McLean

How Struggle Sells — When You Show Just Enough

Sometimes, a bit of grit works better than polish. This study suggests that audiences can trust and engage more with stories that highlight effort, progress or challenge — rather than just smooth success or high status. It’s not about oversharing failure or ditching professionalism. It’s about adding a human edge.

Brands that include small signals of striving — a bumpy start, a learning curve, a humble detail — may come across as more grounded, more relatable, and more trustworthy. Especially in high-consideration categories, this kind of narrative honesty helps audiences connect. So while slick campaigns still have their place, it’s worth asking: where can we show the effort behind the outcome?

Showing how you got there might matter just as much as where you are now.

Practical Business Takeouts:

Test grit vs polish in messaging
Adding one authentic challenge or learning moment can make a sleek brand story feel more relatable.
Use progress language in copy
Phrases like “we figured out,” “we adapted,” or “we improved” hint at credibility earned through effort — not just status.
Include ‘early days’ visuals in design
Think sketches, prototypes, timelines or even feedback quotes — subtle signs of development make stories stick.
Balance confidence with modesty
Avoid phrases that sound too finished or self-congratulatory. A touch of humility often builds more trust than bravado.
Show grit strategically in B2B
For enterprise sales or client trust-building, showing how you’ve overcome complexity can help you stand out as credible, not just capable.

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Photo: Andrea Piacquadio

Why People Switch Off When AI Speaks, 

Faster, better, cheaper? Yes — but at a cost to motivation. This study found that while GenAI improves the quality and speed of creative tasks, it also quietly drains people’s intrinsic motivation and sense of ownership. 

When customers interact with AI-generated content, interfaces or suggestions, they might perform tasks more efficiently — but they can also feel more bored, less involved, and less emotionally invested. That changes the psychology of buying, subscribing, or engaging. It’s the IKEA Effect in reverse: if AI does too much, people value the outcome less.

So if you’re using AI in your customer experience, make sure there’s still room for agency. Ownership builds engagement. And without it, your message, brand or product might slip by unnoticed — however slick the interface.

Practical Business Takeouts:

Don’t over-automate the journey
AI tools can speed things up — but too much ease strips away the effort needed to build value. Let users do something.
Design for co-creation, not completion
Let audiences make meaningful choices or edits, even in AI-assisted flows (e.g. customisation, copywriting, planning tools).
Frame the user as the author
Make AI the sidekick, not the star. “You built this, with help from AI” boosts perceived ownership and emotional payoff.
Use friction as a feature
Smart nudges or mini-decisions in AI flows (e.g. “Choose your tone”, “Pick your style”) turn passive users into active ones — and active users remember you.
Watch the boredom curve
If your GenAI interface solves everything instantly, test for post-use engagement. Do users come back? Or did the tool flatten their interest?

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Photo: Marcelo Chagas

Why Polite Questions Kill Honest Answers

If you want the truth, don’t ask nicely—ask directly. A new study in Harvard Business Review shows that presumptive questions (the kind that assume something went wrong) are far more effective at getting honest answers than open or polite ones.

Instead of asking, “Is everything okay?”, try “What slowed things down?” This signals that you’re open to hearing the real answer—and makes people more likely to share it.

The way you frame a question changes what you learn. Soft phrasing often softens the truth. But when you ask with confident curiosity, people respond in kind.

Practical Business Takeouts:

Use informed framing
Ask “What held this back?” instead of “Did this work for you?” to invite more honest responses.
Make friction visible
Try “Where did things slow down?” rather than “Was the experience smooth?” to surface useful detail.
Train people to expect honesty
Phrasing like “What’s still unclear?” or “What’s missing?” gives people permission to be candid.
Avoid yes/no dead-ends
Binary questions shut down feedback. Instead, ask what could be improved or changed.
Be clear, not pushy
Direct questions don’t need to be harsh—just confident and specific.

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Photo: Sora Shimazaki 

Why Stars Sell. And Numbers Don’t

Consumers aren’t just sensitive to what ratings say—they’re influenced by how they’re shown. New Cornell research reveals that a 3½‑star rating is perceived closer to a 4, while the same 3.5 written in numerals reads more like a 3.

That’s because our brains automatically “fill in” partial star icons but drop the decimal focus in numbers. As small shifts in perceived rating can drive major increases in clicks, conversions, or bookings, this format effect isn’t trivial—it’s persuasive (sciencedaily.com).

For anyone relying on reviews, customer scores or UI ratings, it shows that form is function. Present stars if you want to amplify perceived quality; choose numerals if you prefer precise honesty. Either way, format is a tactical lever in experience, trust and conversion design.

 

Practical business takeouts:

Amplify perceived ratings with stars
If your platform allows it (e.g. product listings, booking engines), use star icons—not plain numbers—to nudge customers towards higher ratings.
Highlight partials visually
Design half‑star indicators clearly; our brains auto-complete them—so 3½ becomes “almost 4.”
Be transparent in analytics
Internally, track true averages. Externally, use stars for engagement—but know your benchmarks.
Test formats in different touchpoints
Compare star vs numeral formats in emails, banners or UX—small format tweaks can yield outsized impact on click-through and trust.
Adapt the format according to pricing tiers
Presenting 4.5-star plan ratings makes them feel premium; a 4.5 numeric score feels exact—but less indulgent.

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Photo: Towfiqu Barbhuiya

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🧠  The Psychology of Why Transparent Nudges Work Better